Stonger Than a Falling Bullet: Woman’s Bra Softens Bullet’s Blow
What about her other garments? Was she wearing only a bra? Should she start wearing a bra on her head?

Police Plan to Question Man in Custody for Broncos Player’s Slaying
Well, I would hope so. Will tomorrow’s headline be: Police Plan to Guard Cell of Man in Custody for Broncos Player’s Slaying?

Florida Fears Citrus-Leaf-Eating Butterfly
Oh great! We’ve got man-eating sharks and alligators and now we have to worry about butterflies.

Moose From Utah Transported to Colorado
I thought they were talking about an offensive lineman. But no, one day we’re using helicopters to feed cattle, the next day we’re using them to capture moose.

Gators Getting Along Fine Without Thomas
What would alligators do with a toy train anyway?

Florida Looks to Find a Way to Conquer Troy
How about using a very large wooden horse?